Race Report: Running Show 5k | Eclectic Cake: Race Report: Running Show 5k

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Race Report: Running Show 5k

WHAT: 5k run
WHEN: 24th November 2013
WHERE: Sandown Park racecourse, Esher


HORSE NAME: Jen-erally Slow
JOCKEY: Tom Tom Runner
ODDS TO WIN: 56/1
ODDS TO FALL ASLEEP: 5/1

AAAAND. THEYY-RRRE. OFFF!


Jen-erally-Slow-setting-off-before-the-jockey's-ready-and-over-excited-to-be-running-again-after-injury. Starting-with-10k-runners-assumed-half-the-distance-meant-double-the-speed. Chasing-Nearly-Nude-Club-Runner-pace-too-fast-but-Tom-Tom-Runner-finally-taking-control. Comfortable-running-now-but-heavy-undulations-and-hills-are-horrendous. Puff-a-Tronic-dropping-back-Jen-erally-Slow-catching. Sideways-grin-not-appreciated-Jen-erally-Slow-leads-on-but-flagging. Not-enough-sleep-last-night-and-a-lot-of-gin-could-lie-down-on-the-grass-for-a-quick-nap-and-join-10k-ers-for-their-second-lap. But-Speedy-Seedling-followed-by-His-Sibling-and-Pushy-Parental-Unit-breeze-past-looking-strong. Can't-be-beaten-by-an-eight-year-old-must-keep-on-pushing. Out-and-back-section-sees-Walk-in-the-Park-gallop-past-deeply-jealous-he's-almost-finished. Mountainous-undulations-almost-halt-Jen-erally-Slow-but-Tom-Tom-Runner-isn't-letting-her-rest. Just-400-metres-left-to-go. The-finish-line-ahead-Jen-erally-Slow-pulls-forward-but-the-cruel-course-circles-round-first. Only-300-metres-remain-Looks-Kind-of-Familiar-is-struggling-can-Jen-erally-Slow-overtake. At-290-metres-time-is-clearly-standing-still-seem-to-not-be-moving. Now-280-metres-the-supporting-crowd-appears-must-attempt-a-sprint-finish-to-show-off. Both-Looks-Kind-of-Familiar-and-Ooh-I-Started-Next-To-You-slowing-to-within-reach. She's-level-and-only-one-bend-left-Tom-Tom-Runner-pushing-for-more-speed. No-more-hills-to-climb-no-more-running-smug-at-only-having-to-do-one-lap...

Thank you Tess for the photo

AAAAND ACROSS THE LINE!

4 comments :

  1. This is quite possibly the BEST race report I've ever read. :D Good work Jen-erally-Slow. I would've been called Knees-a-killin'. Still hurting now, actually, think I really should've pulled out when I stopped to rub them better. Was great to meet you btw x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tess! It was great to meet you, too. Hope your knees recover quickly, then you'll be "Killing-Miles".

      Delete
  2. Jen, this is an amazing race report!! Talk about taking all that advice to a whole other level :) I love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I was feeling very inspired after the Write this Run conference.

      Delete