Race Report: Westminister Mile | Eclectic Cake: Race Report: Westminister Mile

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Race Report: Westminister Mile

WHAT: One mile run
WHERE: The Mall, London
WHEN: 24th May 2014


The 10 Stages of Running a Mile

1) ELATION
Line up with fellow runners - preferably the yellow shirted Sweatshop Running Community - elated by the friendly atmosphere and volume of buzz for such a short race.


2) PANIC
With a minute to go until the start, worry you have no idea how to pace the Bupa Westminister Mile.

3) ACCEPTANCE
After quick pace calculations, accept that running a single quick mile is going to hurt.


4) ENTHUSIASM
Run as fast as you can with a ridiculous smile on your face because you're flying.

5) DENIAL
Drown out the sensible part of your brain - miles were made for sprinting!


6) REALISATION
Realise that a mile is in fact much longer than you anticipated and this pace is a recipe for collapsing in your own vomit.

7) DESPAIR
Decide that the mile is the Devil's distance and running it is probably the way you'll die.


8) HOPE
See the "100m to go" marker as a sign you may just about survive.

9) RELIEF
Feel absolute relief that, after finishing, there was someone below a walkway to cut the time chip off your shoe.


10) DISBELIEF
Wonder how on earth someone did that in under 4 minutes, 60 years ago!

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